So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize