come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I skipped work to stalk him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
