Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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