I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
