Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
