time to smoke my breakfast
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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