omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
