Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
