She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
