she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
