I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
