I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
