I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
