She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
