My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
