Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
