we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
