My pussy is not your playground.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she told me i tasted like america
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
