I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
