Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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