may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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