If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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