Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The adults are the big ones right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
