But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
