I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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