M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize