So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
