I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
