I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
