I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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