a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
