he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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