u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
