i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
