You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
