i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
