I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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