I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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