Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
