I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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