Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
