I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
