Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
