She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
