We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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