We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
