I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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