I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
