I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
