she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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