Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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(917): View more from New York City

giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

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(314): View more from Missouri

You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure

(1-630): View more from Illinois

You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am

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