That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im holly from the hills drunk
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
