I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
