i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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