so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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