I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize