Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
