we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
