No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
