tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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