I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
