I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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