Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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