did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
